Emptiness
by Nameless Fenrir
Summary: *Post MGS 4* How does emptiness feel like? Jack is about to find out, now that he got himself a certain vampire to study. New chapter added, please read and review! :3
1. Chapter 1

_Note: The story is quite old now, I wrote it over a year before, but forgot it somehow. English is not my native language, if you can find strange grammar/spelling etc. please write me.__ It is planned to be a one shot, but maybe I´m writing more if I can make up my mind._

_The story is AU, because I didn´t like the way Vamp died in MGS 4. Please read and review!^^ _

_**Emptiness**_

The room he was resting in was silent, except the soft humming of the machines that recorded his present states and the computer above his bed. He didn´tmove, but he wasn´t asleep either, just staring at the wall on the other side of the small room. His breathing was low, maybe a little too low, but for now he didn´t care, just laying there, with his back to the door. It was all he could do, all he wanted to, although he could stand up easily, but he didn´t bother.

He felt strange, now that he had his body back, it felt even stranger than back when he still wore his suit. As if the Limbs attached to his body weren´t entirely his own. There was a numb feeling when he flexed his fingers, when he moved or turned around. This was not his body, nothing he could call his own, it just did not belong to him in some way. It was just a vessel, an empty shell with an empty soul...yes, that was the word he was searching for, in the depths of his mind. He felt empty, drained out of life, energy and everything that could ever make him human again. And it all belonged to him, every feeling he knew he doesn´t have anymore, the body, he now possessed that was not his own, the thoughts that kept him awake ever since. Blue eyes slowly scanned the white wall and turned to the open window. There was no sun today, it looked gray outside, as if the sky knew how he felt inside. He would´ve laughed at himself now, if it weren´t so pathetic, so degrading to be here in this empty room, being alone with his thoughts.

How does it feel like? To be human again? Was he ever human, to start with it? He looked at his hands and breathed deeper...his mind wasn´t able to come up with a satisfying answer, or maybe he was just avoiding the truth. It doesn´t matter anymore, he´d lost everything that was at least worth living for a little longer. However, even now, life was mocking him, breaking him again. It doesn´t matter that he had his body back, it doesn´t matter that he was still alive, and it doesn´t fucking matter that he looked human again and not like some sort freak...it was just extrinsic...just an illusion for everyone to see and believe that he was "normal" again. As if it was enough to just give him back his body, it doesn´t change anything, it was just a facade, and it felt wrong. Wrong like everything around him, it shouldn´t be like this. He was supposed to be dead...maybe he just wished to be, now that he found out that his feelings were gone. There was no life left in this shell, the only thing he could feel was the dull emptiness, and he hated it. But he couldn´t make up of anything that could stir any emotion or just a glimpse of it within his heart.

He had felt alive back then, when he was fighting to survive, fighting because he had to, when he killed and shed blood. He felt..good...he felt like he was worthy of life, like he deserved to live and for that he fought, just to feel alive. There was a thrill to it, a sensation that rushed through his blood, whenever he wielded his blade. The feeling to dance at the edge of life and death, to know that he could die easily if he fails. Maybe he was just masochistic, or maybe he was clinging so hard to his own life that he could actually feel it inside himself. Maybe it was just something else...a passion for life, a life that can end so fast and the thrill when he can snatch it away from the Death himself, again and again. Yes, he could surely say that the pain and fear, the hate and admiration for his enemy made him feel alive. He had always been conflicting, mostly to himself, he could love and hate, feeling dead and alive at the same time and feeling joy and pain amidst a fight. There was no home waiting for him, the only thing he could call home was the battlefield, his territory, the only place where he could feel alive.

However, it was taken from him now..he sighed and closed his eyes. No need to regret it...it was over, and he'd better surrender to it before it tears him apart. Maybe it was easier that way...

The door clicked, but he didn´t bother to turn around, he didn´t want to see who was entering the room, must be a nurse or some doctor. No one comes to visit him, that he´d figured out ever since he was awake again. But as the person approached, his guts told him that there was something...light steps, balanced and graceful like a...he turned swiftly, only to be pinned down by strong arms, pressing his wrists next to his head. The air felt colder by the moment he was looking into a very familiar face.

Ice blue eyes, not entirely different from his own stared back at his and the predator straddling his belly shot him an amused look, wild and barely held under control, animal and mocking with a wide grin. Vamp...his heart beat faster for a short moment, before he brought it under control again. He just stared at him, his eyes blank and his face emotionless...so he was still alive. The romanian monster, a dancer with knives...his enemy.

"What are you waiting for? Kill me and be done with it. After all, it is what you came for, am I right? Settling the score and accomplish whatever mission had been given to you." He blankly stated and relaxed under the heavy weight on his thighs. If it ends here, at least it was a good ending to his life...

There was a low chuckle above him, a sound that rumbled through his whole body as the other man leaned closer.

"No resistance? I told you, to kill me, boy. What happened to you, what about not wanting to die so soon?" It wasn´t a question, it must be rhetorical, Jack thought and shrugged as best as he could do with his arms pinned down. Somehow, he´d missed his voice, the low purring that made him tremble, the foreign accent hidden under those words that always sounded malicious and alluring, like venom dripping from his lips. Something gathered in his guts, an unknown feeling that made him feel slightly dazed, as he tried to speak.

"Maybe, I changed my mind." He only answered, turning his head away so he´d not to look into Vamps face. He felt weak and exhausted, his voice sounded thin, like he hadn´t talked to anyone since weeks. If that lunatic was here to kill him, it doesn´t matter to him anymore. He´d lost everything worth living for...just like Vamp.

"Emptiness..." The man just stated, and he let go of him, just sitting on his thighs and looking thoughtful for a moment. Jack almost believed he could see a knowing look in the vampire's eyes.

"There is nothing left of me, nothing worth being alive for, so, it doesn´t matter anymore. Do whatever you came for, I con´t care!" He waited, watching the ex member of Dead Cell with a look of defeat in his eyes. No one would miss him, so he could rather die here as well, at least he knew his killer, and he trusted him that he would do it fast.

But there was something rising up in his guts, especially as Vamp leaned closer, propping his elbow against Jacks chest, he grabbed his face with both his hands and forced him to look at him. For a short moment Jack watched him wide eyes, impressed at how gentle the touch of a monster can be. There was something in Vamps eyes, something Jack could recognize within himself as well...it was pain that flashes in those eyes. They made the icy blue irises deepen, only intensifying the strange feeling...

"Is it all what is left of you? Giving in so easily?" Jack flinched as a thumb gently stroke his face, tracing his jawline up to his lips and down to his chin, twisting his face up as if to examine him.

"You are giving up too soon..." Vamps voice hat softened, he noticed and tried to flinch away, but the demon held him securely.

"What should I do about it? I have lost everything...just like you!" He hoped to enrage the other man, provoking any aggressive reaction out of him, just to be sure that this was indeed Vamp he was talking to. He wanted the man to hurt him, he wanted to see his wrath, see him being alive and raging, snapping at him like a wild beast and hopefully kill him finally. But it did not happen...instead he immediately regretted it when he dared to look into his eyes, seeing right through those living orbs to recognize the broken man behind them. Broken and lonely, he lost his loved ones twice, he died several times only to wake up in a world without anything he could cling to...live was never fair, especially to those who didn´t deserve it. Vamp remained silent, there was no rage in his eyes, no anger, as if there was nothing left of those feelings.

"What do you know about losing everything...what would you know about the true meaning of loneliness. You are denying...that´s all, boy. I am not here to bring you death, even if you are waiting for it. All I want to do to is remember you of something..."

Jack felt his guts sink as he waited for what would happen, he could feel Vamps weight shift on his thighs as the man leaned down closer, forcing Jacks eyelids shut with his thumbs. He felt highly alarmed suddenly, anticipating something that he tried to forget, he wriggled under Vamp feeling unsure by now and wanted to bread free. But as soft lips covered his own he fell silent, eyes widening in shock, but not because Vamp was kissing him, but because it felt good...he never thought of Vamp being a good kisser at all. The strange feeling in his guts radiated through his body, making him feel dizzy and light headed as he gave into the kiss, closing his eyes again to savour the moment. His heart was pounding hard against his ribcage, his cheeks flushed and his body was trembling soon as a tongue flickered out to caress the corner of his mouth. He parted his lips, letting go of any coherent thought in his head, if he wanted to object, it was too late already, why not relishing what was given to him so voluntarily? Vamp was gentle, almost careful as he deepened the kiss, he held his breath all the time, purring only once as Jack reacted to him. He could feel those sharp canines with the tip of his tongue, as he tried to kiss him back. It felt strange at first, but then he realized that those feelings the Romanian awoke in him felt good...alive...the electricity of the contact seemed to give him back something he thought he´d lost. He realized that he was not dead inside, he could still feel, even if he couldn´t tell what he was feeling, but it felt right, for the first time, since he awoke with this body it felt right, it felt like it finally belonged to him. His hands moved up, cradling the back of Vamps neck, gently toying with some strands of raven black hair and moving down his broad shoulders, tracing the muscles hidden under his porcelain skin. But then Vamp broke their kiss, practically tearing himself away from jacks face.

"Don´t.." he whispered, his voice cracked as he fought for self control. There was pain in those eyes, as if those touches reminded him of something, he looked distant for a moment. Jack flinched as Vamp leaned down again, his lips brushing against his ear this time.

"Remember this, whatever feeling you have experienced just yet. Remember it, whenever you feel empty again...boy." He whispered softly and kissed his cheek. With his words said, he stood up and left the room, as if nothing ever happened, leaving Jack alone again. The room felt colder now, as if the life faded away with Vamp gone, Jack sat up stared at the door...

"Vamp, you idiot.." He whispered and remained like this until he fell asleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

Emptiness

Chapter 2

_Authors notes:_

_Thank you for the nice reviews! I never thought that anyone would read my Story, but I decided to add a new chapter to it! XD_

_Most of you surely already noticed that English is not my native language, so I apologize for the strange grammar and some incorrect spelling that I might have overseen. Hope you enjoy it, though and still like it! _

* * *

"Jack, get back into the house and discuss it out, like a man! Jack! I´m talking to you, damn it!"  
The voice behind his back screeched, as he just slammed the door shut and left without even bother to look back.  
"Sorry Rose, but not this time.."  
His decision was made and this time, there was no turning back anymore, he couldn´t take it any longer, this was it.  
The only one Jack felt sorry for was his son, poor kid, he´d better never be here to start with it, just like him... This was not his life, it was the life Rose wanted and maybe the others wanted to make him believe that he wanted to be this way, too.  
It was cold outside and gray outside, even colder than the day when he left the hospital for the first time after his operation...and after his unexpected visitor...  
A thin layer of frost covered the metal rail he rested his hand on, the cold instantly crawling into his fingers and his bare palm, as he stood at the bridge and let his gaze ramble over the open water of the Hudson River beneath him.  
Why, for God´s sake should he stay with her any longer? There was absolutely no reason to live in this lie, those thoughts kept him awake almost every night ever since he decided to live with her, or maybe it was not entirely his own decision?

In all these years, they attempted to build up some kind of a perfect alternate universe, where everything worked out well for him, the perfect life, the perfect woman, the perfect lie. A strange fairy tale that sucked him into that little world of make believe, until he almost surrendered to it that, by living in this false life, everything will be ok. But every dream ends someday and with one stab, the little world he was spun into, broke apart, revealing it´s cruel fate and made him even fall deeper into the emptiness outside of its walls. So here he was, Jack the Ripper, The White Devil, Jack the fucking idiot, who thought he could lead a normal life like nothing ever happened, like he really was a normal person just like everyone else...it did not help him to think of himself. He was human, maybe...but most of his life, he was a tool...just like "him", a sigh, then he turned around to continue his way. His present task by now was to find himself a place were he could stay for a few days, until he found an apartment, or Rose found him before and tried to convince him to come back home with her. He had no home anymore, he did not want one, not the one Rose called their home.

Rose...she would be better off, if she finds herself another man who cared, he was just some kind of freak, she wanted to believe she fell in love with during the Big Shell incident. He tried to pretend that she was the one, he tried to make himself believe that she was the women he loved, but it never helped. She was a stranger to him, even after all those years they shared with each other, she was still Rose, the women he was expected to love, but he never could. It was not her fault, she made an effort to try to understand him, but most of the time it ended in frustrating discussions or him falling silent and simply going to bed. She wanted to understand who he was and what made him the way he was now, but there was nothing to understand..he was Jack, he was Raiden. Both names represented a lie on their own, both lives were just chapters in a book, and he was still reading between the lines in hopes to find himself in them...  
He was an empty vessel, a toy, raised by someone, trained and now dropped onto the floor, a shell with a human face and the little what was left considered to be feelings...  
"Your body has been reconstructed, due to a unique and outstanding new surgery technique. However, it is still quite experimental, and we suggest that you do not overstrain it for the next couple of months. The consequences are still not conceivable ..."

He remembered hearing something like that after his surgery but won´t give a fuck about it. What could possibly happen to him? He will find it out eventually, so what? Slowly, the distance between him and his so called home was growing farther, and he no longer noticed how far he´d gone already, without a determinate aim or directory he was heading for. The only thing he wanted, was to escape from his false life and nothing could keep him any longer, she would learn to live without him…  
The wind was sharp and cold like ice, as he looked up the gray evening sky, it slowly started to snow again and the little ice crystals, the wind blew against his skin stung like needles. But Jack pulled up the collar of his coat and moved on, ignoring the tremble in his legs, he also ignored the tiny black spots that danced before his eyes and the pain in his temples. He felt slightly dizzy and his heart was pounding hard against his chest, there was a numb feeling in his limbs, maybe he overdid it a little…And maybe, just maybe, he should listen to Hal sometimes and stop carrying everything he did too far, just because he wanted to. But it was too late for regrets, and he knew it by the moment when those black spots began to spread out until he couldn´t see anything else more than darkness that surrounded him. His knees finally gave in as his body simply refused to obey, but there was no impact…

* * *

„Huh…what…happened?"

His voice was hoarse and thin, he felt ill and weak, as if he´d just made a world record at the New York Marathon. Jack opened his eyes to a dim room, his other senses and his mind, he noticed, began to wake up slowly, almost with a sluggish rate and no matter how much he tried to strain them, they still felt blunted, as if he was covered in a thin blanket of mist that blocked his senses. Slowly, with a trembling hand, he brushed some moist, white strands of hair out of his face, still feeling numb and shaky and his gaze was hazy. He was in a strange room, somewhere unknown, but not in his own home for which he was thankful, that much he knew by now. It was not some kind of hospital he was brought to, judging by the fact that he woke up sprawled out on a black leather lounge, with a warm blanket around his shoulders and a fire crackling in a nearby fireside. Strange...but not entirely unwelcome he decided and as his vision started to clear, he noticed a pale, almost snow white something, moving close to the other end of the L shaped lounge. The white spot grew some small, thin legs and a tail and finally stretched itself and yawned with pleasure, piercing its tiny claws into a pillow next to it. A white cat? Other people saw white mice or pink elephants...however, judging by the booming pain in his temples, he was apparently awake and still alive. Swinging his legs over the edge of the lounge he tried to sit up and instantly regretted it as his head began to spin, and he literally saw stars. With a soft but frustrated moan, he let himself fall against the backrest of the lounge and raised a trembling hand up to massage his aching temples.

He really overdid himself this time and only God knows what could have possibly happened as well, maybe he was lucky that he got away so easily. Remaining in his current position, he shut his eyes from the reddish glow of the fire. It was easier to close his eyes so the room would stop spinning, and he could try to at least regain some of his strength, it felt awful being so weak..like he was shattered and being stitched together again... Something touched his thigh, a small paw was pressed against the fabric of his pants and soon three more followed as the cat sat on his lap and, with a low purring, curled up onto his lap and began to clean its fur.

Time to find out who saved him and thank the person that he or she did not call the ambulance instead, he thought as the dizzy feeling slowly began to fade and allowed him to stand up and make a few cautious steps. Apparently, this was a living room, with a fireplace, a desk with a computer and some books and something that made his skin crawl…a long knife lay carelessly dropped on the floor. The blade was black and it showed halfway out from its sheath along with a pair of boots and a dark grey leather coat, like its owner was sort of in a hurry to get into his bed…or bathroom to wash away some blood stains? The cat approached him again, stroking itself against his leg and then disappeared into another room. The door was open, just a look would not hurt anyone, will it?  
Curiosity did not just kill cats, Jack…the little voice in his head warned him, but he ignored it as he silently stood at the doorframe to feel his breath catch in his throat.

"Vamp…" There was something unreal about this picture, it was not the well decorated room and the huge bed, or the blood red satin sheets the sleeping form was resting on, it even was not the white cat laying casually next to…that monster. He was asleep, his hair tangled in his face and raven black strands spilling over the sheets he was laying in, a thin blanket covered the lower half of his naked body and his soft breathing was even. The golden light of the morning sun piercing through the dark curtains, enlightening the bedroom with a warm shine, the whole scenery was so unreal and…somehow peaceful, like some fancy painting in one of the picture galleries in the museums, he can already imagine a good title for that piece of art: The sleeping monster. Jack laughed to himself as he approached the man, careful and with a wary look at his face, it was not his intention to wake him. Vamp began to snarl in his sleep, his fingers flinched and his eyelids fluttered as if he was facing some kind of invisible enemy. It must be some nightmare, Jack thought to himself as he stood next to his bed and just watched him. He whispered something in Romanian in his dream, then turned away, showing Jack his bare back, it was then when he noticed the scar.  
His parents died in a church bombing when he was a kid, the cross impaled him and kept him caught under the rubble for four long days; that was what the files said. However, he never saw the scar…until now. It was just a small mark, in comparison to the other scars Jack was responsible to, too, just above his left shoulder blade, the cross must have pierced through his body and came out on the other side just somewhere below his collarbone. Painful and almost impossible to survive, most people died from the blood loss…but he survived, by feeding off the blood of his parents. There was a soft moan, his sleep was not a pleasing one, something haunted him in his dreams, memories from his past?  
Maybe he should wake him, Vamp turned again to lay on his back, panting and showing his sharp canines, like a sleeping beast, a painful look on his pale features. Don´t touch him…the inner voice warned as he reached out his hand, but it was already too late. Vamps skin was cool, covered with a slight film of sweat, but it felt natural, not like he´d imagined it. Bluish veins ran under a layer of pale, milky skin, he flinched slightly at the contact making Jack jump back a little, but it did not wake him. He could kill him in his sleep so easily, Vamp would not even feel a thing… or he could have been killed as well, but he was still alive, so why? The Romanian was a weird one indeed, but somehow fascinating to find out that even the great Vamp needed sleep…and was resistant to sun light, Jack thought as he gently sat down at the bedside. A mirror was at the other side of the room, he sighed and lifted his head to take a look at himself. He was still the same, looked the same and probably would always be like this…just like Vamp, he had not changed much, maybe his eyes looked a little older by now, after the incident with the Patriot System and the Big Shell and everything. His reflection stared back at him with an almost sad look…strange and somehow weary, he still looked pale and his body felt weak…  
A soft harrumph made him jump, and he shot a glance to his side and widened his eyes as two aquamarine orbs stared back at him, unmoving and intense, without moving just one muscle…like a corpse, but his eyes held an amusing look in them as the awakening monster smiled at him…


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hey boy, why are you so desperately hunting your own death?"_  
_The man smiled and ruffled his hair, but the young boy just tried to edge away, he hissed like a kitten and drew his knife. He was cornered, the other soldiers, standing nearby just laughed and talked to each other in a language he did not understand. _  
_"Don't throw your life away like this, you are still young…"_  
_"That's not your problem! Leave me alone!" The boy hissed, his baby blue eyes staring at the man with disgust. Other than his aggressive behavior, fear was the only thing the older man saw in his eyes. _  
_"I am not your enemy, I can help you, if you want to get out of this life, come with me and leave this country."_  
_"No! I said don ´t come near me!" He backed away and held his knife closer, his back was against the wall and though his stare was intense and full of hatred, he was trembling._  
_Something moved on the other side of the wall behind him, he was hiding something, or probably someone._  
_"You are not alone, who is with you?" One of the other soldiers was about to move, as the boy stood up._  
_"N…nothing…go away…leave me alone…" Now his voice was shaking and his look pleaded silently, the movement behind him became more anxious._

* * *

„So you're still alive? "  
„So it seems, hm? " Vamp smiled his piercing blue eyes still hazy from his slumber.  
„How? " He should since long be sleeping in his grave rather than a King sized bed...  
"Don't know..." The low voice purred, his expression was that of someone who was either bored, or...  
"What do you mean with that?"  
"Can't remember, why do you ask anyway?" The Romanian shrugged and, with an elegant swing, leapt out of his bed. The tone in his words told Jack that he was not interested in talking about it. It was not boredom...he's hiding something...  
"I...nothing...never mind..."Jack caught himself staring as the other man stretched and flung his arms behind, but it took some moments until he noticed himself...he'd seen this man several times, but never completely naked...stop staring, Jack...it´s not like...  
"You like what you see, boy?" A low chuckle made said boy turn to a deep red as he turned away.  
"S...sorry...I...think I'm waiting in the kitchen..."  
"Don't worry, I don't care." Another chuckle...

_No, Vamp isn't for "vampire". It's because he's bisexual..._

Oh great...well done Jack! He mentally whapped his own head and waited with his back to his former nemesis, until the soft rustle of clothes was heard.

Jack has never been a morning person, most of the time, when he had to get up early he was all grumpy and ill tempered, until the first cup of coffee or anything that was able to distract him from being like this. However, this morning was one to remember… It was strange to see Vamp up in the morning, he'd not expected him to get up early, but the older man seemed to be less disturbed by it than he was.  
He never imagined to witness the former Ex Dead Cell Member wear normal clothes...like anyone else...it's not like, just because of his name, he would be dressed in a black cape and sleeping in a coffin...so much for the vampire cliché, but it never hurt to be cautious, nevertheless and just for the case that he would do something strange...  
Vamp stood at the other side, at the far end of his bar, wearing nothing but some black Cargo Pants and a simple white T-Shirt, which fit close around his pale body. Jack decided that he liked this Vamp better than the war-crazed monster he had faced in their shared past. His ribs showed under the thin fabric, casting soft shadows on the white cotton, he still looked the same like the last time Jack saw him, maybe he'd lost some weight, but other than that, he still was Vamp...

"Yes…how long was I...away?" He asked out of distraction, as he sat at the other end of kitchen bar, trying to hide his nervousness, there was that feeling in his guts again…  
"Three days, I was about drop you by some ambulance, if you would not have awaken today, your body is fragile, so, overstraining it not the best idea you had, hm?"  
"Oh…uhm...yeah...thank you anyway..." Jacks thoughts were distracted by other things as he answered and tried to not stare again, but the image before his eyes was just to hard to resist...he wondered where they were exactly, from his view out of the window it was hard to tell...

Something mewled from underneath the bar and clawed some tiny paws into his owners legs, someone was definitely quite hungry, Vamp just smiled and poured some cat food into a small bowl that he placed next to the fridge, if it was not for their rivalry, one would never assume the blood drinking monster, lurking behind this soft, almost caring smile.  
"How did you find me?"  
"Coincidence."  
One thing was clear as day, for this time, the other man was a very bad liar; he was avoiding certain answers ever since he was awake.

A long, awkward silence stretched between the two men, as they just stared at each other. While Jack was occupied with another attempt to read Vamps thoughts, the other man just stared, with a blank expression.  
What other topic could he possibly talk with a man like Vamp? Jack never expected to ever be in such a situation with him. The Romanian was a killer, a lunatic, blood loving, homicidal knife slinger who tried to kill him, for god's sake! He was an enemy he was told to fight and yet, he never allowed himself to think about, who the man behind those intense and cold eyes could be like, when he was not hanging on another mans throat, for the exquisite taste of blood, or slicing it with one of his knives. Who was this strange, yet so familiar man in front of his eyes?

Their eyes locked for a short moment and though he still was not trusting Vamp, he could not find anything like hatred or anger in his look, he still looked tired and there was something else. He normally never noticed things like these, but being together with Rose was not entirely in vain. But he missed the words to place that feeling, chained to his gaze.  
Maybe, this was the true Vamp he was seeing by now, a human being...actually a real person with a name, which brought him his next question.  
"Can I ask you something else?"  
"Depends on what you want to ask..."  
Vamp took a little nip from his cup and raised his head to face Jack, a curious smile on his lips.

"What is your real name?"  
"You know the answer...Jack."  
"No I do not, and I can't imagine that the Name of Vamp is the one you were given by birth."  
The smile stretched a little on the other mans face, before he closed his eyes and sighed.  
"I did not mean that."  
"What did you mean than?"  
"My name...you should now the answer to your own question...no."  
"O.k. Vamp is not your real name, then, tell me, what is it then?"

Vamp just emptied his cup with one last draught and this time he put his cup away and leaned closer, propping his elbows on the bar and resting his head on his hands, he faced Jack with an almost playful smirk.

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out, boy. But I will tell you, if you remember something..."  
"Remember? What? Why are you avoiding me?!"  
"Just try to remember and maybe then, I will tell you what you wish to know."

He´s…such an arrogant asshole! Jack was not a person for those childish, little, mind games and somehow he was mad. Why was Vamp…just Vamp?! What is he hiding? He growled in frustration and shot an evil eye to the manbeast that Vamp was.  
„I don´t know what you mean! Why is it so hard to just tell me something so simple? Are you afraid that I might laugh at you?"

What the fuck was the problem with this man?  
Vamp just shook his head and smiled, instead of Jack he was cool and collected as ever. While the blonde was about to strangle him to get his answers out of him. Now this was the typical monster Jack knew, the cold blooded and thoughtful tactician who never lost control over himself or the situations he as in. But if this stoic asshole was the real Vamp, who was the man who saved his life and more importantly, kissed him back then in the hospital?

He´s acting like he does not care about anything and anyone, the lone wolf, but Jack had seen another side of this man and he was not the type to give up so easy, there must be another way to find out more.  
„Ok, if you don´t want to tell me, let me ask you another thing!" And this time he´ d better come up with a real answer!  
„Do as you wish boy." Another shrug and jack could swear that it was amusement, glowing in the other mans eyes…Vamp you…!

„What happened to you? You were dead, you must be, no one can survive those injuries, I´ve seen you!"  
„Just as I said, I don´t know, you´re repeating yourself!"

„You helped me, but why? "  
There was no reason to him why Vamp would want to keep him alive, they were enemies, right? If there was one thing that Jack hated, then it was uncertainty, but Vamp was still too unpredictable to him, it was like handling a dangerous animal, not knowing when it might bite…how ironic…Jack looked at his hands while he spoke. The other man had more than one opportunity to kill him by now and god knows how long he already knew that Jack would be sleeping in his hospital room.  
"There is no reason for you to do that, we are…enemies…" He continued and paused to look at Vamp, his eyes seemed tired, almost a little disappointed, maybe he'd expected other words.  
"And what do you expect me to do, instead?" Jack could feel the hair in his neck stood, there was something in his voice he could not place, but it made him shiver.  
"…kill me?" Was his only answer, something felt not right somehow, the whole situation, maybe, the fact that he sat near his enemy and talked things out? A soft laughter caught him off guard; Vamp turned to face him and placed a cup of fresh coffee in front of him, while he leaned against the kitchen range.

"I told you once, if I wanted to, you would be cold already…"  
"That does not change anything…we´ re still…I don´ t trust you, that´ s all!  
"What? Are you going to think like that forever?"  
„Yes…n..no, but what is this all about? We..you tried to kill me, more than once! And you killed all those people and Emma…and…"  
He jumped as he could feel Vamp touching his forearm, there was that look again, that Jack still could not point out.  
„Raiden…no…Jack, listen, war is over, we are free, do my words somehow reach you? Or are you really going to carry on like that?" And this time the Romanian sounded like he was really serious, the playful look he gave Jack earlier had vanished. Why was Vamp so…unstable? It was hard to tell what he was thinking, let alone what his next reaction would be like, but Jack was still not in a mood to give up.

„But why? Dammit…I just want to understand!"  
„I had my reasons, some of them you already know, but I don´t want to talk about them anymore. We all had our own reasons and the destined paths, that we thought were to take. You and me and…everyone else. But it´s over now and I want to forget about it, can you understand me?"  
For a short moment, Jack recognized the man behind that stoic mask again…  
„I understand…sorry…" He had his reasons and Jack had his own, but he was extremely irritated by Vamp´s behavior, he´s unsteady, but still human…somehow.  
He should be mad at him, or still be highly alarmed, but something in his guts told him that it was okay, Vamp was not threatening to him anymore, its over and it was to be accepted. Just because they were not trying to slaughter each other with all kinds of blades dos not mean that he can completely trust him, but it´s at least a point from were he could start to understand him…which was a good cause to ask him another question, one that weighted heavily on his mind ever since…

„Why did you kiss me?" Curiosity and cats…Jack seriously asked himself, by the moment he spoke, if he really wanted to know the answer.  
„Sentiments, boy…" Was the short answer he got and Vamp reached down to pick up the cat, that stroke itself against his legs.  
„Hm…just that?"  
„Do you want another response?"  
„N…no…not really…"

Vamp smiled and emptied his cup with one gulp, he went to the sink and took a look out of his window, as if he was waiting for something….  
„You look as if you could walk again, why don´t you call yourself a cab and get back to your home? Your family must be worried about you, by now."  
„I don´t think so, I don´t have a home anymore…"  
„Not? What happened, what about your queen?"  
What was that? Could there be something like concern in Vamps pale, blue gaze? He looked thoughtful again.  
„She´s not my queen and never was…we broke up."  
„Oh, my apoligies.."  
„Don´t worry about me, I´m fine. It was never meant to be and I think I just need some time to get use to it."  
„And what are you going to do now?" The Romanian leaned against his bar and gently pressed his cat against his chest.  
„Find myself a place to stay, some motel or something, until I can get myself an apartment. Thank you fpr…uhm, not killing me and that you´d not drop me at some hospital, I´m leaving now."  
Jack rose from his place and entered the living room to get his coat, it was better when he just left, Vamp would find him…somehow he knew it.

„You can stay here until you´ve find something, I don´t think that you bother me and as long as you do not tell anyone that I´m alive and still in New York it´s okay. If you want of course."  
Stay here? Now Jack needed some time to think it over. Vamp was not going to kill him, he was quite sure about it, but… could he really trust someone like him? If he stayed…  
Apart from the fact that he and Vamp were rivals and knew each others fighting styles, the other man was practically a total stranger to him…ok..that was a lie, he was aware that Vamp was still the lunatic ex- Dead Cell member who drank blood and scared the shit out of him, when he first encountered the vampiric freak.  
But if he stayed, maybe he could try learn more about him…but…oh God if Otacon finds out , he might never forgive him. He did not even knew that the man who killed his sister was still alive and Jack decided that it was his task to find out how…and some other things. Good occasion to…

„Ok, I´ll stay! As long as you do not bite!"  
„Don´t worry, I only go for virgins!"  
„That´s not funny! Who knows…„  
A low snicker was heard and Jack blushed again, but for now, he had the feeling that he´d accomplished the first part of his new found mission…

* * *

**Authors Notes:**  
Thank you for the reviews! I will try to write at least one chapter per month, but my head is about to stew…also I´m still having some trouble with the language and there seems to be no option how to create an extra blank line after each paragraph , but I hope you like the new chapter and don´t forget to review!^^


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